Friday, December 30, 2011

Resolve to Better Your Pets' Lives


As we say goodbye to the New Year, I thought it would be good to celebrate the human-animal bond and to have a little fun with New Year’s Resolutions.
Many of us can attest to the fact that our pets are blessings to us. Even though they may aggravate and irritate us at times, in the grand scheme of things, we can’t imagine life without them. The loyalty, the unconditional love, and the lack of judgments they offer us can be so refreshing and healing when the humans in our life fail to offer these when we really need them. As this excerpt points out, often when we think we are rescuing an animal, we are actually the ones being rescued:

I Rescued A Human Today by Janine Allen

Posted by Janine Allen at Monday, November 17th, 2008.
I RESCUED A HUMAN TODAY by Janine Allen
Her eyes met mine as she walked down the corridor peering apprehensively into the kennels. I felt her need instantly and knew I had to help her.
I wagged my tail, not too exuberantly, so she wouldn’t be afraid. As she stopped at my kennel I blocked her view from a little accident I had in the back of my cage. I didn’t want her to know that I hadn’t been walked today. Sometimes the overworked shelter keepers get too busy and I didn’t want her to think poorly of them.
As she read my kennel card I hoped that she wouldn’t feel sad about my past. I only have the future to look forward to and want to make a difference in someone’s life.
She got down on her knees and made little kissy sounds at me. I shoved my shoulder and side of my head up against the bars to comfort her. Gentle fingertips caressed my neck; she was desperate for companionship. A tear fell down her cheek and I raised my paw to assure her that all would be well.
Soon my kennel door opened and her smile was so bright that I instantly jumped into her arms.
I would promise to keep her safe.
I would promise to always be by her side.
I would promise to do everything I could to see that radiant smile and sparkle in her eyes.
I was so fortunate that she came down my corridor. So many more are out there who haven’t walked the corridors. So many more to be saved. At least I could save one.
I rescued a human today.

“Written by Janine Allen CPDT, Rescue Me Dog's professional dog trainer. Janine's passion is working with people and their dogs. She provides demonstrations for those who have adopted shelter dogs, lends email support to adopted dog owners that need information beyond our Training Support Pages, and aids shelter staff and volunteers in understanding dog behavior to increase their adoptability. Copyright 2011 Rescue Me Dog; www.rescuemedog.org”

RESOLUTIONS
In searching information about resolutions concerning animals, I came across a set of resolutions set forth by the Episcopal Church. This Convention sets official policy for the Episcopal Church and they have been adopting resolutions for animal care and welfare at these conventions since the 19th Century. It is nice to see a church officially recognize the divine gifts the animals are to us and our responsibilities to them. In the last decade they have passed three resolutions as follows:
·         Resolution 2003-D016, Support Ethical Care of Animals
·         Resolution 2009-C078, Liturgy for Loss of Companion Animal
·         Resolution 2009-D015, Merciful and Humane Treatment of God’s Creatures
These can most easily be read on the Humane Society’s website through the following link: http://www.humanesociety.org/assets/pdfs/faith/the_episcopal_church_1.pdf
We will all most likely make resolutions for our health, weight, family, career, faith, finances, etc. While you are at it, maybe you can make some for your pets. Resolve to give them a better diet, regular preventative care, regular grooming, or maybe just more time and attention. I bet you both will benefit from that one; it will not require a membership; there are no out of pocket expenses; it should not feel restrictive; your pets will not harshly judge you should you falter; and it will lower your stress levels.
Now what if our pets decided to make resolutions about US? They might look something like those below.
Please forgive the reposting but these were just too good to pass up. Please take the time to visit the sites from which these tidbits were gleaned and enjoy the other things they have to say on their sites.
A Dog's New Year Resolutions

·         I will stop trying to find the few remaining clean pieces of carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.
·         I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
·         I will not eat other animals' poop.
·         I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.
·         I will not eat my own vomit.
·         I will not eat "kitty box crunchies".
·         I will not eat any more socks and then re-deposit them in the backyard after processing.
·         The diaper pail is not a cookie jar. I will not eat the disposable diapers, especially the dirty ones.
·         I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
·         I will not chew crayons or pens, specially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.
·         When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.
·         I will not drop soggy tennis balls in the underwear of someone who is sitting on the toilet.
·         I will not bark each time I hear a door bell on TV.
·         I will not walk under the big dog when he is peeing.
·         I will not steal Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard with it.
·         I will not play tug-o'-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
·         The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dad's laps.
·         My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
·         I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and car registration.
·         I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
·         I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
·         The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.
·         I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.

A Cat's New Year Resolutions

·         My human will never let me eat her pet hamster, and I am at peace with that.
·         I will not puff my entire body to twice its size for no reason after my human has finished watching a horror movie.
·         I will not slurp fish food from the surface of the aquarium.
·         I must not help myself to Q-tips, and I must certainly not proceed to stuff them down the sink's drain.
·         I will not eat large numbers of assorted bugs, then come home and puke them up so the humans can see that I'm getting plenty of roughage.
·         I will not lean way over to drink out of the tub, fall in, and then pelt right for the box of clumping cat litter. (It took FOREVER to get the stuff out of my fur.)
·         I will not stand on the bathroom counter, stare down the hall, and growl at NOTHING after my human has finished watching The X-Files.
·         I will not use the bathtub to store live mice for late-night snacks.
·         I will not perch on my human's chest in the middle of the night and stare into her eyes until she wakes up.
·         We will not play Herd of Thundering Wildebeests Stampeding Across the Plains of the Serengeti over any humans' bed while they're trying to sleep.
·         Screaming at the can of food will not make it open itself.
·         I cannot leap through closed windows to catch birds outside. If I forget this and bonk my head on the window and fall behind the couch in my attempt, I will not get up and do the same thing again.
·         I will not assume the patio door is open when I race outside to chase leaves.
·         I will not intrude on my human's candle-lit bubble bath and singe my bottom.
·         I will not stick my paw into any container to see if there is something in it. If I do, I will not hiss and scratch when my human has to shave me to get the rubber cement out of my fur.
·         If I bite the cactus, it will bite back.
·         When it rains, it will be raining on all sides of the house. It is not necessary to check every door.
·         Birds do not come from the bird feeder. I will not knock it down and try to open it up to get the birds out.
·         The dog can see me coming when I stalk her. She can see me and will move out of the way when I pounce, letting me smash into floors and walls. That does not mean I should take it as a personal insult when my humans sit there and laugh.
·         I will not play "dead cat on the stairs" while people are trying to bring in groceries or laundry, or else one of these days, it will really come true.
·         When the humans play darts, I will not leap into the air and attempt to catch them.
·         I will not swat my human's head repeatedly when she's on the family room floor trying to do sit ups.
·         When my human is typing at the computer, her forearms are *not* a hammock.
·         Computer and TV screens do not exist to backlight my lovely tail.
·         I am a walking static generator. My human doesn't need my help installing a new board in her computer.
Resolve to better your pets’ lives today, and I bet they will better yours regardless. 
Happy New Year to you, your family, and all the living non-human blessings in your life!

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Do Animals Have A Sense Of Humor?


I have wondered about this question on many occasions. Do they see the humor inherent in life? Do they play practical jokes on each other? On us? I picture them sometimes around a food bowl, or water bowl, their “Cheers”, discussing the funny things in life over a broken bottle of bourbon someone scavenged from a trash can. Based on real life experiences, I envision a couple of hawks, a dog, and an African grey parrot all swapping stories at “the bar”:
Dagwood the Dog: “It’s great being a dog! Those humans can be so gullible! Flash them a cute look, droopy eyes, a little whine, or such and they will bend over backwards for you! The “Power of the Pitiful” is amazing! I once stopped a whole line of traffic! I was trying to get across this busy road, but there were so many cars that I knew a had two chances of getting across alive: slim and none. But I remembered a little trick from a time in the past when I had hurt my foot. I went into the bushes near the road, and when I came back out, I walked three-legged. My “poor” front foot was held up high in the air and I struggled as I loped along in a very stilted manner, barely able to make each step. I limped right up to the road, and you know what?!?!? Those foolish humans all stopped their cars! I hopped across the road, leg in the air, as all the drivers looked pitifully at me. There was almost an audible, collective “Awww, poor thing!” in the air. After I made it across, I looked over my shoulder to be sure I was clear, and put the old front foot down solid and traipsed off on my merry way! I never looked back again!”
Horace the Hawk: “You wanna talk about stupid?!”
Henry the Hawk: “Shut up Horace!”
Horace the Hawk: “Naw man! I gotta share this one!”
Henry the Hawk: “Don’t do it Horace, it’s embarrassing!”
Horace the Hawk: “All the more reason to tell it my boy! You see old Henry here fancies himself a crackpot predator! But his eyesight is going a little bit and so his skills are not what they used to be. One day we were out hunting lunch and Henry saw this furry little brown thing on the ground. It didn’t move when we flew over, but Henry thought it was just trying not to get noticed. Well ole Henry here was gonna show it a thing or two about hiding from the ‘Great Soaring Hunter’! With all his feathered bravado, he swooped down silently, snatched the fuzzball up in his talons and swooped triumphantly over to a field next to this vet clinic. The fuzzball never shrieked in terror, never struggled, it didn’t make a sound. So again Henry here, trying to be the tough guy, landed in the field, looked around to be sure no one was going to try to take his catch, and proceeded to tear into lunch! Imagine his surprise when all he got was a beakful of white fluff!! It seems Henry had managed to disembowel the dreaded ‘Teddy Bear’!!! Oh he was beside himself! He dropped the bear where it was and slowly took off over some houses, trying to ignore the giggles of the people outside the vet clinic!”
Angela the African grey: “I got all of you beat! You should see the stunt I pulled on my owners! I had been living in my Mommy’s house for months, and she recently got married. While they were on their honeymoon, they boarded me at a vet clinic. I didn’t really want to leave home, so I paid them back. While I was at the clinic, when everything would get quiet and the staff was all busy with their daily duties, I would start reciting the noises I had heard many times in my house. First I would start with rhythmic panting or huffing noises. Then I would throw in some well timed moans and grunts. Next I yelled ‘Yes! Yes!’ over and over again, screaming my Daddy’s name. I would make all these noises in my Mommy’s voice. Oh, I forgot to tell you, she kept me in the bedroom! I would do this a couple times a day for the whole week and the staff thought it was the funniest thing! They would laugh and comment, which would of course only encourage me to do it louder! The real kicker was when they came to take me home. They asked the doctor how I did and if I talked much.  The entire staff giggled a little under their breath as the doctor explained with as straight a face as he could that I was VERY vocal, and that I enjoyed talking daily, and considering the fact that we African Greys are the best mimics of the human voice in the parrot family, they could tell I was probably more my Mommy’s bird. When my Mommy asked what I had said, the doctor paused a bit before saying that he did not want to repeat it, but that they might want to keep me in a different room in the future. It took a moment, but Mommy figured it out. I didn’t know people could turn that color that fast! I giggled my little feathery butt off the entire way home!”
Yes I was personally involved in or witnessed these stories! Nature is beautiful. Nature is exciting. And sometimes, it is downright funny!

Monday, December 5, 2011

How Do You Do What You Do?

I have been asked many times how I do some of the things I do. Sometimes people mean the messy things, the odiferous things, the “gross” things.  Many times they mean the painful things. When the time has come when there is nothing more we can do for a pet, and the only humane thing is to help the owners let their pet go, end it’s suffering. It is never easy, but often it must be done. After years of experience, you wonder if you have become distant or immune to the pain. Then every once in a while, one such procedure opens your heart, and lets your emotions flow more than you ever thought they could. This often does wonders for one’s perception of oneself and of others as well.
One such example is one we see too often. I am reminded of a client who was a single man, rather rough and abrupt. When in the clinic he always spoke of his dog, Max in dismissive terms. He almost seemed to try to pass it off as a joke, but he appeared visibly angry with every visit. We had diagnosed Max with early liver failure, but had several treatment options available. We treated Max for a while and saw him and his owner frequently. When anything of consequence would happen or if Max required medical care of any level of expense, he would verbally blame and deride Max as if he had planned his illness. It really looked like the sicker Max was, the angrier the owner was with the dog. It was quite appalling at times, but we never said anything. He always did what was necessary, no matter how begrudgingly. We never saw him raise a hand to the dog, but the staff at that time was never happy to see his name on the appointment book and the older Max got, the more often we saw him. Then the day came when there was nothing more we could do for him and the appointment book showed the last appointment of the day was Max for a euthanasia. Throughout the appointment and the procedure, the client continued his angry attitude, seemingly directed at Max. After everything was done and we left the room, the entire clinic could hear the gut wrenching sobs of the client. It has been very seldom in my life when I have heard such raw sorrow and despair. We could see him through the small window, laying over Max, visibly shaking with grief, repeatedly saying “I’m so sorry I couldn’t do more Max.” There wasn’t a dry eye in the clinic and everyone finished the day in almost pure silence. Looking back I think his escalating angry behavior was how he expressed his increasing frustration with his pet’s condition. 
Sometimes children, in their raw innocence, can surprise us with their perspectives, and can open our eyes. I see this randomly as well. There was a family who had brought in their Lab, Jake for euthanasia. The parents had brought their eight year old son with them to the appointment. I think they wanted to use the event as a teachable moment for their son. (I see many families struggling with explaining death to their kids, and the loss of the family pet often gets used to “get their feet wet” and open the door for further discussion on the matter.) After Jake had passed, the family had shed their tears, and the parents were ushering the son out of the room. The boy surprised his parents, and the rest of us, with his next move. He turned to Jake and pulled a beat up tennis ball from his coat pocket. He placed the ball next to Jake’s head and said, “Here you go Jake. Now you and Grandpa can play fetch again like you used to.” The tears started anew. I think their son figured out more than the parents ever suspected.
Both of these examples like so many others, helped me see the value in that particular service that I am sometimes asked to offer: the release it gives to some, the peace it gives to others.
It shows me that the love people feel for their pets is just as strong and just as important as the love they feel for other people and family members.
It shows me that the pain they feel at the loss of their pet is very real. 
It shows me once again the incredible strength of the human-animal bond, and my part in helping to maintain that bond.
That is how I am able to do what I do.