Once again the full moon attracts some of the most interesting calls. I sometimes feel like people just need someone to talk to, or they are looking for justification for their position from a professional. I wonder how many arguments I have been inadvertently instrumental in resolving (or propagating). Some of these calls still stick hauntingly in my mind. Some still stick in my skin.
I awakened by this emergency call about 2 a.m. during a full moon:
The pager said “Patti O’Furniture, XXX-XXXX, hamster with mites”
Okay, I was thinking: “So mites are never fun, probably less so on a hamster, but emergency?!?! Really?”
I called Patti and she proceeded to relate the following to me:
Me: Hello, this Is Dr. Martin. How can I help you?
Patti: Hi Doctor. I am over at my friend’s house and her little girl has this hamster. The hamster keeps scratching and itching a lot so we thought it must be mites.
Me: There are several possible causes for itching in rodents. Mites or other parasites are definite possibilities. They are seldom emergencies and we can probably take a look at them tomorrow.
At this point one would expect most people to be relieved that they did not have an emergency, thank me for my time, and call the next day for an appointment. But now that Ms. O’Furniture had my ear (at no charge because we did not charge unless we went in for the appointment) she intended to take advantage of the captive audience.
Patti: I had heard that you can see mites and such if you turn the lights off and then shine a flashlight on the surfaces. We turned off the light and we could see the little bugs in the hamster’s cage and on the top of the dresser too, but we didn’t really see any on the hamster. I told her it wasn’t from the hamster but maybe it was from the dresser she keeps the hamster on.
Me: Without actually seeing the hamster or the bugs, I would not be able to determine if they were mites or if they came from the hamster, so again the best course of action would be to check the hamster out in the morning.
Patti: We tried the flashlight thing again after taking the hamster to another room. I turned the light off, turned on the flashlight ... [in a slight conspiratorial whisper] AND THE MITES WAS STILL THERE!
Me: Well since the mites would not be able to move very fast I am not surprised you still saw them there, even if they did come from the hamster, which we still are not sure about.
Patti: Then I remembered that my friend had also just bought an antique rug from somewhere and she kept it rolled up in the bottom drawer of the dresser, so we opened the dresser, rolled out the rug, turned off the lights, turned on the flashlight ... [in a definite and LOUD conspiratorial whisper] AND THE MITES WAS STILL THERE! I told her she shouldn’t have bought that rug cuz it looked dirty, but she wouldn’t listen. Do you think the mites came from the hamster?
I tried to keep my skin from crawling off my body at the following thoughts:
1. The rug in question was “antique” but not necessarily from an antique store. This meant it may very well have been in someone’s grandparent’s house for decades.
2. If that were true, then the bugs were probably from decades of breeding and living off whatever they could find, including the dander of whomever had lived there.
3. If they had been breeding for decades, then there were probably up to millions of the little guys.
4. Since they were not just in the rug, but were on the dresser and near the cage and to the point that they caused irritation in the hamster, they were on the move and probably hungry.
5. If they had migrated that far, there was nothing to say they weren’t infesting the house or apartment already.
6. Why didn’t the mother call herself, or was she battling the mites? (picture animal tamer outfit, tiny chair and tiny whip; or Indiana Jones attire waving a small torch around)
7. It was the little girl’s hamster. Was the dresser in the little girl’s room?
Me: I would recommend we check the hamster tomorrow and at the same time you should call a pest control agency to get the house treated ASAP. The bugs probably did come from the rug, but we can’t be sure.
Patti (in an overly satisfied tone): Thank you Doctor. I’ll tell her to do that.
Then in the background as she was hanging up the phone: “I TOLD you not to buy that stupid rug!”
I never saw the hamster, nor heard from Patti O’Furniture again.
I’m still not sure why they called, or why they chose 2 a.m. to check for mites. I am also not sure I helped as I am not certain what they wanted from me.
That was probably one of my itchiest nights ever.
I sure hope they got the little girl’s room cleaned.
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